Thongs are Not Shoes.

After reading my previous posts, it is obvious that I am not the complaining, whinging. pessimistic type. I am enthusiastic, positive and always find myself talking about my new great love, whether it be a necklace, dress, book or fashion label.

I don't hate many things but I feel it has come time to express my number one pet hate of women's dressing. Thongs. No not the underwear type of thong, (I am a firm believer of the benefit of that type of thong when avoiding a VPL (visable panty line)) the rubber kind. Flip flops, double pluggers, havianas, whatever you want to call them.

One of my most favourite past times is (surprise, surprise) shopping and planning outfits. For a day at work, a night on the town, a music festival or a casual dinner, whatever the occasion, thongs are never my footwear of choice. In an effort to avoid sounding like a ranting idiot I have devised a list (in my opinion) of when I would say thongs are, and are definitely not appropriate.

• At the beach- Yes.
• At the pool- Yes.
• At the shops-....it depends. If it is a super quick run in to the supermarket, and I mean super quick, as in, baking a cake, run out of eggs and have to go to the shops before the cake starts to rise prematurely, or you are just about to have a shower when you realise you used the last of the conditioner last time you washed your hair. In which case, a rubber thong and greasy hair complememnt each other perfectly. (Stop me if i'm being too harsh). In all other shopping situations, I don't understand why people dont take the opportunity to enhance their outfits with a cute pair of loafers or a funky sandal?
• To lunch with friends- Leave those thongs at home! Ladies who lunch are not seen around town in a shoe made of rubber. Anything other than the softest leather would not do justice to the goregous dress or nude shorts and silk top combo you are planning.
• To a music festival- I can see both sides of this argument, (gasp, I might be in favour of the thong?) but only because I have (in the very distant past) on occasion, worn thongs to a festival. (If I remember correctly it was Good Vibes '09 and Parklife '08). Festivals are dirty, you can get sand in your shoes, and most festival outfits are casual. However, festivals are also an opportunity to show off your style, mix patterns, wear headbands, scarves, the shortest of shorts and ......a great opportunity to wear biker boots, sandals with lots of buckles or some little sneakers. The boots and the sneakers will even save your tootsies from the moshpit.
• Out to dinner- Hell no!
• To work- Come on, everyone knows you don't wear thongs to work.

Like I tell my sister 'thongs are not shoes'. I can hardly imagine Alexa Chung or Rachel Zoe strutting around in a pair of flimsy flip flops. Remember this next time you are dressing ladies and we will all be better dressed for it.